Mein Sab kho chuqi by Sadaf Jalbani

Mein Sab kho chuqi

Handfree lagae woh apne bed pe leti thi, us ke bed pe anatomy , physiology or biochemistry ki kitabein or atlas pare the.....

“Paron bina jo Dekha panchi mujh ko meri yad ayi ”Handfree Se ati awaz bajli ki si raftar Se kanon tak ponch rahi thi or chand lamhon Mein dimag tak or gane ka har lafz use mazi (ماضی) ke lamhat yad dila raha tha

Bed pe leta woh 19 sal ka wajood bilkul khala tha us waqt, us larki ko samjh Nahi aa raha use kya ho raha he or use kya karna he

“Mein ne kaha apna koi , ik bhi awaz na ayi”yeh Alfaz sunte us ki ankhon ki samne ik film ki si chalne lagi

anatomy department ke notice board pe first year students ka rash laga huwa tha , Kyun k anatomy k first substage ka result laga tha notice board pe , woh students ko hita ti, apna dupata Thk karte notice board tak ayi or result dekhne lagi

“Ap ka highest score he “sath khare kisi larke ne us Se kaha Woh jo list k akhir Mein apna nam dekh rahi thi yeh lafz sun kar list ka first nam parha jo k tha “sabahat “

“Shukar alhamdullilah “yeh dil mein kehti woh wahan se jane lagi

“Congrats “woh larka us k Peche aya

Abhi tak us ne us larke ko Nahi dekha tha magar ab congrats kehne par woh muskra kar use dekhne lagi “Thankx “

Yeh Kehte woh dissection hall mein chali Gaye jahan us ki dostein majood thi

“Congrats sabahat”un Char doston ne kaha

“Thankx “woh apna bag table pe rakhti boli

“Tu kitni jhoti he , tu ne kaha tha k tu ne kuch Nahi parha “us ki clg mein jo sb Se close frnd thi us ne kaha

“Aise tou Nahi kaha tha mein ne kuch......tum logon ne result Dekha tou mujhe bataya Kyun Nahi.....aik Msg he kar dete....mujhe boht tention hoti he “woh bolti gayi

“Hum Itne Fazol Nahi hein k text karte pharein sb ko , u r a snake sabahat “

Woh jo kuch maha Se khali khali sa mehsoos kar rahi thi , use laga highest score ane se woh Thk ho jaye gi , or Chand lamhon k liye us ne kaifi behtar mehsoos kiya magar yeh kya , woh jis samandar mein pehle doob rahi thi , us ki gehrai mein use ‘closest frnd’ ne dal diya

 Woh bina kuch kahe kitabein uthae , ansu chupae wahan se Chuli gayi

Ansu hont (ہونٹ) pe aya or us se namken Sa kuch mehsoos huwa jo use wapas hosh ki Dunya mein laya

“Mol khushi ka pas na ho tou , gam (غم) saste le ao”woh gane aik bar khatam hokar phir shuru huwa tha

Ansuon ki raftar barh chuqi thi or dimag mein aik or khayal aya

“Baba Mera highest score tha”woh apne baba ko batane lagi

“Mashallah meri donon betiyan doctor banein gi “is k baba ne kaha , us k behn jo in ke sath he bethi thi , yeh sun kar apne kamre mein chali gayi

Sabahat is ki Peche gayi , use kuch share karne tha apni behn k sath

“Pata he tumhe woh huma mujh se Naraz hogaye he.....”woh bina knock kiye room mein ayi or abhi is ne bat mukamal he Nahi ki thi k us ki behn ne gusse mein kaha

“Tumhari wajah Se baba chahte hein , Mein bhi doctor banon, mujhe Nahi karni mbbs ,Nahi banna doctor ,maaf kardo mujhe , Nahi sunni tumhari bakwas”woh jo   Samjh rahi thi k yeh hath de kar use samandar Se nikal de gi , us ne use or gehrai mein Chor diya jahan bilkul andhera tha or woh doobti ja rahi thi

“Umeedon ka nam na Lene or na karo dua”woh uth kar Beth gayi , woh abhi bhi ro rahi thi or apne bal apne donon hathon Se pakar liye Or phir us ki ankhon ke samne woh lamha aa Gaya Jise woh shyd  kabhi yad Nahi karna chahti magar insan ko Hamesha Wahi batein yad rehti hein jinhein bholna hota he

Us ne blue shirt jo ke ghutno Se opar thi or white trouser pehn rakha tha or sar pe dupatta liye woh canteen ki taraf barh rahi thi

“Excuse me “main gate ke samne jahan students ke ellewa bhi log aa ja raha the wahan kisi ne us Se Rok liya

“G”woh Peche muri , woh us ka batchmate tha

“Woh ap anatomy ke kon Se books parhti hein “woh larka us se mukhatib huwa

“Yeh pochna tha ap ne “woh muskarate huwe us Se kehne lagi

“Han g yahi Pochna tha “woh larka bhi muskurane laga

“Snell parhti hon mostly ,grays or bd dekh leti hon “woh us larke Se yeh kehti canteen chali gayi

Magar ghar ayi tou baba jo amoman us waqt ghar pe majood Nahi hote woh ghar pe the

“Assalam o alaikum baba “woh apne baba ko dekhti un se boli

“Kon tha woh larka jis Se tum Hans lar batein kar rahi thi clg Gate pe “ use kuch pal Lage yeh bat samjhne Mein

“Baba woh......”us ne kuch kehna chah magar us k baba ne us ki bat kat Di

“Apni azadi ka glt istamal kar rahi ho tum , tumhe parhne k liye behja he wahan , parhne k liye phone dilai he na k in Kamom k liye , glti hum Se he ho gayi jo aitbar kar k behj diya parhne......”us ke baba bolte Gaye or woh Sunti gayi ansu tou jaise tayar khare the behne ko or woh Bs woh us samndar Mein dobti gayi us andhere mein apna wajood khoti gayi

“Beta Sabr karo ro Mat rote Nahi he “us ki ammi kuch waqt Bad us ke kamre mein ayi

“Ammi meri bat tou koi sun lo”woh rone lagi

“Beta tumhe kya zaroorat thi kisi larke Se bat karne ki , glti tumhari he hai “us ne ansuon Se bhari ankhein utha kar apni ammi ko dekha jo rone ki wajah Se soj chuqi thein, yeh dophar ki he bat thi

“Ansu ki qismat Mein the hum , ansu an Mila”saskiyan lete huwe us ne mobile Se handfree nikal Di mobile band mar ke study table pe rakh diya

Cupboard Se apna favourite white frock nikala or pehn liya , Wuzu kiya or “EHD-NAMA” parha or phir phone uthaya or apni best frnd jo k dosri mdcl clg mein admission ki wajah Se dosre shehr mein thi us Se call ki ,pehle Ring bajne pe he phone utha liya gaya

“Yr bad Mein call karti hon , abhi hum antakshiri khel rahe hein boht maza aw raha he....”us ne abhi salam he Nahi kiya k dosri taraf Se yeh awaz ayi , awaz sunte hein us ne bina kuch kahe call Band Kar Di

Phone switch off karte waqt use social media pe post ki hoi apni aik Post yad ayi

“She wanted to become a writer and all she could show to the world was har suicide note”

Woh study table pe aa kar bethi or phone rakh diya or apne aik Note book Se page nikala or likhne lagi...

“Mein kho chuqi Hon , mein sb kho chuqi hon,mujhe Nahi samjh aa raha kuch bhi,

Mujhe Nahi maloom mere dimag mein kya chal raha he , Mein marna chahta Hon par yeh bhi chahti Hon k koi mere pass ao or mujhe bacha lo.....ammi baba behn huma koi tou ao.....

Mein andheron mein kho chuqi hon mgr in andheron mein dalne wale , mere dil ke boht qareeb the

Or mujhe lagta he mere na hone Se sb ke masael kam ho jayein Ge

Khuda hafiz”

Anso aw kar notebook pe gira or letter pe likha lafz “Mein”jaise ansu Se mit Gaya ho

Yeh wahin table par rakh kar apne samanon Mein craft knife dhondne lagi jo milte he woh bathroom gayi or bathing tub mein let gayi or nal on kar diya

Ankhon Mein ansu the , dil ki darkhan boht barh chuqi thi , hath kanp rahe the magar woh samandar mein mukamal doob chuqi thi , pani ban gayi thi , samndar ka hissa.....or andheron Mein andhera ban chuqi thi woh

Us ne apne daein hath ki nas Kat li or us ki ankhein Band hone se pehle is ne bathing tub ka pani lal hote dekha.......